WHEN PEOPLE ASK SOMETHING OF US – to change a plan, to help them, to do something a certain way, even to share information – that seems beyond our capabilities…
… we might get upset and think: ‘@#$%! How can they ask me to do something so unreasonable!??!!’
It’s important to remind ourselves that what another person asks of us comes from their own life experiences, what’s happening for them in their life at that moment, as well as their understanding of the situation and expectation of how hard or easy that task might be – from their perspective.
What may seem wildly unreasonable to us, might be absolutely reasonable to them based on their experience of the same type of situation – currently or in the past.
They are quite likely NOT trying to make things more difficult for us.
Their question is likely NOT aimed at being intrusive.
They likely just expect us to say no if it’s not possible.
They are operating from behind the lens through which they view the world, based on their own observations and experiences – as we all are.
They don’t know all that’s going on in our life. Even if we think they should, or even if they think they do – they really don’t.
No one except you knows how much of a struggle or how easy it is for you at any given moment.
Go easy on each person asking something of you. Release assumptions.
People typically don’t set out to make things hard for others – they are likely just trying to make things easier for themselves. Each of us is doing our best and we can’t possibly understand the intricacies of everyone else’s perspectives.
This is the beauty of communication. People don’t need our angry response – they just need us to answer and communicate with kindness to help them understand our perspective.