THAT PERSON WHO MUST TELL US ALL ABOUT A TOPIC THAT WE ALSO KNOW ABOUT, or how they excel at an activity or task that we also do – how fast or effective they are – it’s possible our first reaction might be that it is a reflection on us.
We might take it to mean they are suggesting / thinking / presuming / insinuating – that we are ignorant about the topic, that we don’t know as much, or that we are not so proficient at the activity by comparison, effectively: that they are better than us.
The ‘go-to’ for many of us is often comparison to ourselves. Others share how great they are and we feel bad about it because we think they are saying they know more, or can do more, or do it better – than us.
We may feel compelled to communicate something to the effect of – Hey, but I am also fast / efficient / effective / really great at [that activity or task] – or – I know a lot about [that topic] too!
But it’s important to remember that what others share is really all about them and where they’re at. It’s not about us.
~ It might just reflect their excitement about just having learned the skill or information, and a desire to share.
~ It might simply be that they feel it is relevant to share and it is something they are able to contribute in that moment.
~ It might speak to an insecurity about their own abilities, or about their place in a group or situation – a need to share it with an unwitting or subconscious (or perhaps intentional) desire for praise or to gain a greater sense of belonging.
~ It might be that they are, in fact, trying to ‘show us up’ or appear to be better than us. But even if so, that is about them – their need to do that at that moment.
As we notice these experiences come up:
~ can we feel more compassion for them, within our perspective of the situation and of this person?
~ can we turn the energy around: from feeling bad about ourselves in that moment, to feeling for them and what might be happening for them – whether it’s the excitement at their knowledge or achievement, or a feeling of needing to contribute, or a possible insecurity they have – whatever it might be?
Wishing you a day of staying confident in your own knowledge and capabilities, while offering compassion and acceptance (and perhaps a little enthusiasm) to others as they share about their own. ❤
(Photo by Marshall Bannister, pexels(dot)com)