I’M IMPATIENT with myself when it comes to making a change, working toward a goal or achievement – really, anything I have decided that I want.

I have a tendency to want things to happen right away:  I want to do the thing, achieve the success, reach the goal, finish the course, be the expert at whatever it is – pretty much as soon as it’s on my radar.

Sounds totally reasonable, right? 😉

I’ve become more patient and accepting of the journey to get to each chosen destination in recent years – thanks in no small part to discovering and trusting my intuitive connection.

But it’s still there. I can feel it: a keen desire for [X] to happen now. Why must I wait?, the impatience within me keeps asking.

Funny enough, I’m more patient when it comes to other people. How about you? I don’t think this is limited to just me. How hard we can be on ourselves! We extend more grace, leeway and patience to others than we do to our own progress.

On a related note (bear with me, it does relate), some people say that whatever you think about, believe in, speak about – you are manifesting, because you’re ‘putting it out there’ to the universe. If we explore this idea for a second as it relates to something we want to have happen, if what I believe, I’m manifesting, then… if I believe, think, talk about that change or success happening quickly…it must happen quickly?

Hmm. No, I don’t buy it. After all, how many times have you said to yourself (and maybe anyone who would listen as you share your woes): Well, THAT took WAY LONGER than I expected!!

Or, how about on the flipside:  if I believe the change or goal will take a long time and be really difficult … am I making it so?

No, it’s not really that either – at least not in my experience. In fact, how many times have you said:  Wow, that [project/task/experience you were dreading] was WAY EASIER than I thought it would be?!! You surprised yourself (and maybe others, too) by finding it went far smoother than all the dread you had built up for it. Your expectation didn’t manifest – in fact, things went the opposite direction and it was quite easy and smooth.

Here are some of my thoughts and suggestions on this. See if they resonate for you:

~ An expectation that making a change or working toward an outcome you desire will be easy or quick – is unhelpful, and may be detrimental to you reaching your goal.  Believing something will happen quickly does not ‘will’ it to happen quicker. It might actually make it feel like it’s taking even longer – as you hold onto an expectation that continues to be unmet. You might be more apt to give up, feeling like you’re getting nowhere in the lofty timeframe you set out.

~ Just as harmful to your progress, though, is to expect that the same change will be a difficult or arduous or time-consuming experience – believing all that won’t make it unfold that way, either! It might feel like it took it’s taking its sweet time, and it might feel challenging – but this is because generally, the more you view something as difficult, the harder it will feel. It just might deter you from starting at all, or cause you to quit early on.

From my experience, when working toward a goal or toward something we desire, IT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO…

– …release expectations. Stop thinking about how fast you think it’ll all happen, when you’ll get to your perceived finish-line, achieve the goal, or be finished whatever it is.

– …let go of the how and when.

– …focus more on the actions that you feel called to take relating to the goal, rather than the goal itself.

and while you’re at it…

– …find something you love about those actions you are taking, for the simple reason that keen interest will have you taking action more regularly, which will support the goal and – after all – you’ll be following what you love – and that’s a win win.

Notice I used the words – actions RELATING to the goal – not actions TOWARD the goal. I did this intentionally, because sometimes we don’t even know what action to take to actually move us toward the goal, and we can get lost wondering if what we’re doing is even helping! Picking an action that relates to the goal can feel better than nothing at all, help to keep us on-track and not lose interest.

For example, say we’re dreaming about opening a wildly popular flower shop, but we’re not sure where to start, with no idea what action will move you toward that goal. We can still take action by continuing to learn about the various flowers we wish to carry, and maybe look at designs of how we’d like the store to look, where might it be in town. Even if those things aren’t the very next steps needed to achieve the goal, it keeps us motivated so we don’t lose interest by not knowing the ‘how’ right now.

I find I’m reminding myself of these things all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.

I’m often dreaming and working toward something – a change within myself, a shift in routine or habit or practice, or an even larger goal.

By remembering the above, find it helps me to consciously become more…

…accepting of how things are in the moment (when it can be easier to see the deficiency).

…grateful for the small wins (when it can be easier to focus on what I think I failed at).

… aware of how far I’ve come (when it can be easier to see only how far I have yet to go to the perceived finish line).

…present and engaged in what I’m doing right now (when it can be easier to think to the future – thoughts like ‘surely be better once I finally [do or finish x]’ or – thinking of the past and what I really ‘should have done’ in order to be or feel differently now).

Whether it’s changing habits, getting fitter, training for a sport or event, doing rehab to heal from an injury, losing or gaining weight to feel healthier, building a business, feeling comfortable in that new job or after that promotion, or just learning something new, we must offer ourselves kindness and patience and also a kind of neutrality – as we make the efforts to facilitate the growth that will come, in some indeterminate amount of time.

If we falter – allow it, accept it, and move forward. Take another small action. Allow the change to take the time it takes – fast or slow – stumbles and steps backward included. Trust the process. Resist the temptation to compare your journey and speed to others.

Let go of those expectations and let the universe fill in the blanks. ❤️