AS YOU RUMINATE, ANXIOUSLY, on how you’re certain that you came across like a [insert preferred self-critical term here] in an interaction because of what you said or did: no one is giving it a second thought right now.**
In fact, they most likely don’t even remember it at all.
If they do, and if it crosses their mind – guaranteed they remember it differently than you do, anyway.
These people – the ones whose opinions you are concerned with – are busy with their day. They’ve moved on and are not thinking about what you said or did – yesterday or last week, or when you bumped into them and forgot their name, or didn’t introduce them properly or interrupted them or got too drunk or talked too much – or whatever it was.
Their mind IS (and WAS, even at the time you did/said the ’embarrassing’ thing) swimming in all kinds of thoughts about their own lives, their hopes, desires, plans, and probably some thoughts about how they think they came across, themselves, in various experiences.
Somewhere right now someone you celebrate for how they spoke or for what they did is actually being hard on themselves for the mistake they feel that they made during that same situation – one in which you didn’t even notice a mistake.
So, check out the following statements – see how they feel:
~ Trust that everyone makes mistakes and no one speaks or acts perfectly – and what seems perfect to one is imperfect to another, and vice versa.
~ Trust that all is unfolding exactly as it is meant to – including all perceived mistakes: even those are leading to wonderful possibilities.
~ Trust that each and every moment is an opportunity to start fresh.
~ Trust that you have the power to shift your attention right now – away from the deficiency, from the already-happened, from your perception of ‘how it went’ and from the imagined scenarios of how it would/could/should have gone differently.
~ Trust that shifting your focus to the present moment supports your well-being and offers you self-kindness. No one deserves that more than you.
**Caveat: an exception to folks not thinking about it or remembering it would be if you sense that you did/said something that was actually hurtful. In this case it may be valuable to find a way to reach out to them with an apology or to have a heartfelt conversation, if/when it feels right for you to do so. 💚 (This post was aimed at folks who tend to ruminate on things they deem ’embarrassing’ about themselves, how others might view them or think of them given how they spoke or acted – not about deeply impactful hurtful words or actions.)