How many times have you been asked for advice or guidance – and you’re able to come up with suggestions for the other person, only afterward realizing it’s advice you could benefit from, as well? You have a moment of puzzlement, wondering: ‘hmm… why am I not taking my own advice?!’
I’ve experienced this, myself, many times.
It’s just a sneaky and wonderful way that the universe/source/spirit gets us the message of support we need ourselves: we’re not getting the message for ourselves through our intuition, so it comes through in order for us to offer it to someone else – so we both benefit. 😉
When we feel upset in some way, or just not sure what to do next – it can be tough to get clear on the next step, what might help us feel better, or find a way to see things in a slightly different way.
Our intuition is our direct line to the answers, but sometimes its voice is very quiet amidst the emotional turmoil and the loud thoughts of the thinking mind.
Trusted friends and family members, counselors and therapists, practitioners and coaches – all offer valuable relief and new perspectives for us during these times.
But…
~ Sometimes we would prefer not to share our issue with any friends or family – it feels too private, or maybe no one is available.
~ Sometimes there’s no room in the budget for therapy of any kind.
~ Sometimes we just want some advice right away**, and feel we can’t wait for the appointment or for our friend to be free.
In times like these, here’s what I do, and what I recommend to others as a great practice.
I ask myself: what would I tell someone else if they came to me feeling this way?
Of course, it’s not always so easy to do that in those moments, as thoughts and emotions are likely in overdrive.
So – I write it out. 🤓
I take a journal or notebook. (You could use your phone or computer, but I do this the old fashioned way.)
At the top of a clean side of a page: I write out how I feel, why I’m upset, anything/everything about the issue.
I just let it flow out onto the page whatever way I’m thinking or feeling it, unfiltered, as though sharing it with someone kindly willing to hold space for me as I do.
It’s messy. Figuratively, and literally: few people – probably no one other than me (and barely even me 😆) – could read my writing when I do this. Doesn’t matter. It’s only for me.
Maybe there’s more than one thing, or it’s an issue with sub-parts: I just use a few different pages.
I leave space underneath each piece of writing.
Once done, I put the pen down, take a breath and close my eyes for a few moments to bring that part of the process to a close.
Then, I go back to a page and read it as though someone else were sharing it with me.
In the blank space I left beneath each one, I write whatever support, comfort, or different perspectives come up for me to offer to this ‘unknown person’ for whom I have such compassion, whom I want to help.
Once I’m done that part, I take another deep breath.
Finally, I read it all through again.
I find this to be beneficial in these ways (and likely more ways I haven’t even considered):
– It allows you to get the thoughts and emotions out of the swirl of mental chatter in your head – it’s cathartic and freeing.
– It helps you to get clearer on what you really think and feel, and on the key points of what’s bothering you – it’s sort of a distillation process.
– It allows you to receive support when you really need it, and it can be done at any time – no appointment necessary.
– It’s empowering to be able to help yourself.
TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE. You have far more wisdom within you than you give yourself credit for.
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**IF YOU ARE IN CRISIS and the above practice just won’t be enough, please contact a distress or crisis centre – numbers below.
There is NEVER ANY SHAME in reaching out for assistance or simply for someone to listen. You might think it’s a silly little thing to call about – but please don’t think that. If it’s got you upset, it’s worth the call. Folks on the other end of the phone-line or chat-line are very kind and non-judgmental. You will be heard. 💜💛💚
Here is some contact info for western Canada, but use an online chat from wherever you are if you need it. There are likely also crisis centres more local to you.
Here is some contact info for western Canada, but use an online chat from wherever you are if you need it. There are likely also crisis centres more local to you.
Calgary: 403-266-4357 or online chat: https://www.distresscentre.com/,
Edmonton, 780-482-4357 or online chat: https://edmonton.cmha.ca/programs-services/distress-line/,
British Columbia – 1-800-784-2433 or online chat www.crisiscentrechat.ca